At its best, it is not about being loved; it is about loving. Brutal honesty is about someone else, often critical of something they are doing or a characteristic you believe they possess. Brutal Honesty: Difficult for the recipient, makes the speaker feel good Assumes stupidity of the recipient Isn't vital for the recipient to know Is expressed spontaneously Is said out of irritation. What these people who hate buttering someone up need to realise is that a little thought put into the delivery of the truth in question has the power to go a long . Honest criticism, or even just honest conversation, is done with tact. It's akin to brutal honesty, but it gets more into the blood and guts of the human condition and its capacity, or . Truth #3: Brutally honest feedback is the key to growth. "When you vent, you treat your partner as the enemy. Truth #2: People aren't brutally honest with us. Instead of just addressing the issue, the brutally honest person will call your character into question. The fox in Saint-Exupry's The Little Prince described what I'm talking about most beautifully. It's being judgmental. 9. The "brutal" aspect of this type of honesty-far above and beyond simple commendation or pat on the back for good work-is actually felt by the giver. It's not. Free mini course: Take control of your success with our . Honesty can help people heal, and understand Brutality does not heal, it wounds. Today we'll walk through the 4 truths about brutal honesty: Truth #1: People don't want to hear brutal honesty. Truth #4: An honesty bath is the first step to create new habits. To Care Personally, one must move at a pace that doesn't make the other person uncomfortable. It's loving despite the hurt and misery of heartbreak. It can convey the same honest messages about things that have gone wrong, but in a way that helps instead of hurts. 1 They Act Like They Know What You're Thinking Andrew Zaeh for Bustle If someone being brutally honest acts like they can read your mind, then they may be being emotionally abusive. That is true, whether you are being honest with yourself or with someone else. Loving honesty takes more effort, but it accomplishes far more than brutal honesty usually can. Brutal honesty, on the other hand, Dr. Hafeez explains is when the "honesty" is aimed at you as a person versus your actions (i.e., "you're so stupid"), lacks compassion, comes off across as. Loving Honesty: Difficult for speaker and recipient: Difficult for speaker and recipient Radical honesty is about yourself, and what you notice about yourself and your own experience. Obnoxious Aggression is also called "brutal honesty" or "front stabbing." . Mean isn't always truthful, but honesty is. 10. It's a lose-lose situation. If you want to help, loving honesty is usually more productive because it is compassionate and uplifting. The problem is that these brutally honest people assume their opinion to be truth and therefore stating the so-called truth is them being honest. Loving honesty takes more effort, but it accomplishes far more than brutal honesty usually can. It's important to have people in your life that will tell you how it is. Answer (1 of 9): There is virtue in honesty, but its greatest value is when one is open to receiving it. If your partner shares his or her vulnerabilities and you attack them, you violate the trust and emotional integrity of your relationship. However, there is a fine line between being brutally honest and just being a jerk. However, in the end, it is still the truth. A person who is being honest will try to broach a tough subject with finesse. Tough love is loving others through the pain. "The more. Tough love is first admitting that we're not perfect, then admitting, and allowing, that others are not perfect either. It can be personally "brutal" for a leader to humbly offer an admission of being a student to a subordinate's positive contribution, attitude or extra mile. But where is that line? It causes people to become def. If someone is being mean, those "honest" snippets might be opinion or just plain fibs. It's easy to deny how we feel or ignore the truth. There's a huge difference between being genuine and being brutally honest. Conversely, brutal honesty is concerned with tearing the other party down. Using the above example regarding housework, they may claim that you're lazy or unmotivated, whereas the issue might stem from a new work schedule or recent illness. Honesty also has a filter. 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